Saturday, August 13, 2005

Husband & Wives


The issue of polygamy recently took center stage for a brief period (before the haze took over the headlines)..It was fuelled by a survey by an university, which found that 90% of muslim men have only one wife (although the religion allows them to have up to four wives)..

So, what rationale for the balance 10% for have more then one wife? The survey even stated there are small percentages of Malaysian Chinese and Malaysian Indian men have more then one wife..although our law clearly prohibits bigamy/polygamy among non-muslims..

When a muslim man has more than one wife, he has to make sure that he treats all his wives equally ..and one has to remember, no man can treat his life partners equally...it is something stated in their holy Quran itself..

On the other hand, although non-muslim couples aware that second or the third marriage will not be considered legal, and second/third wives or their children are not entitled to any privileges as the man's family, they still agree to these unions..

So, what could lead to 'some' men and may be in certain cases, 'some' women to resort to polygamous marriages? Please bear in mind that i am not talking about affairs....i am talking about marriages here..

Are these unions based on love? lust? money? social status?

20 comments:

Arz000n said...

Polygamy sounds good as an imginary concept...but, in real life, I dont understand how people (especially men with multiple babes) manage to survive in it.

First, marriage itself is a big responsibility....on that having multiple wives, he needs to be a milionaire or a HUNK (sexy STUD) to keep all of em happy ;)

Im not sure how much of this is true, but I heard in order to spread Islam, it was said that muslims can go for polygamy. But the survey conducted has proved that wrong too.

So, what could lead to 'some' men and may be in certain cases, 'some' women to resort to polygamous marriages?
No time for divorce....maybe. (read somewhere they send SMS for divorce. Can make out why....now)

re these unions based on love? lust? money? social status?
Can be any of these factors. Depends from person to person involved in polygamy.

tulipspeaks said...

z00nieeeeeeeeee...u r the first...

No time for divorce....maybe. (read somewhere they send SMS for divorce. Can make out why....now

U read it from here.. :)
Muslim men are allowed to 'talak' through sms..but they will have to pay fine in the syariah court if they chose to 'talak' that way..

and..Muslim men need to have consent from their first wife to marry the second and so forth..but in one of the states in Malaysia, men are allowed to marry more without the consent of the current wife (or wives)...

in a way, i am glad that non-Muslims are not allowed to marry more than one..but then, they can always resort to customary marriages which are not protected by law :(

Arz000n said...

Just curious...while filling form for Singapore VISA one of my colleague noticed the following:

____
For Malaysian travellers:

Color: [] Pink []Blue
____


??

tulipspeaks said...

err...can be more specific? the question is asked for what purpose?..i mean under what subtopic/title?

Arz000n said...

No subitle above...

only those 2 sentences. :P


But can you guess anything that is pink and blue anyway???

tulipspeaks said...

if it is blue & red..it refers to Malaysian Indentity Card..Blue for normal people and red if you have had serious criminal record (murderers etc)

i don't know about pink & blue..i need to ask around :(

Arz000n said...

Hehehe....chill. Dont spend ur weekend on that :)

Actually we Indians while filling out forms for VISA never came across something that says PINK or BLUE. So when I saw this, I was rolling on the bloor thinking whether they were talking about hair color or eye color. Hehehehe :D

Enjoy da weekend!!

tulipspeaks said...

kekekeke..nah..not eye color or hair color..i think they are talking abt the identity card :P

Keshi said...

What could lead to polygamous marriages? hmmm I think it's mainly the culture/beliefs/religion. If it allows them n give good reasons why they should, then they will do it.

I saw a movie where a fat ugly old n rich Afghanistan man marries more than 7 beautiful young women...the youngest was just 12.

Lust is a part of the reason. 'Cos even when the culture allows so, some men wont do it. It's only the men who love lust really do it.

Women I think do it becos of the poverty...in developing countries where this tradition is practiced, many women arent independant/educated/carrer-minded. Hence they fall prey tho this kind of thing feeling they will have a life 'cos there's man to lookafter them even if that means being the 5th wife. That's where money comes in.

As far as social status, men might be doing it for that - to show his power - that he can have more than one woman as a wife. But I seriously dun think it's shows any power...it only shows his weakness - the weakness that's keeping him from being dedicated to just one woman.

Keshi.

tulipspeaks said...

k00kie...welcome back!!

u touched all the aspects i had in my mind..way to go girl!!


=am00nie=

Me said...

me ? the only guy here ? OK ...I support polygamy.......If I get a chance to marry Catherine Zeta Jones and Madhuri Dixit ...then I will marry both of them....he he.....

Me said...

It should be am000nie.......
- av000nie .

tulipspeaks said...

kekeke...av000nie..welcome

musings (m000nie) said...

hey amutha yeah ofcoz u can join... just read the rules :)... one of my earlier posts... n now wat do we call u??? am00nie... yeah sounds so like my name...lol


well, i was just trying to stick to this (am00nie)...er...u really think i need to change it to am000nie?

=am00nie/am000nie==

strawy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
strawy said...

well , i heard that muslim men r just miss using the concept of four marriages .Only 1 marriage is allowe actually , but he can marry another women if shez widow with children or some needful lady.Its not that he can just go n marry 4 galz .Rest maybe i have heard wrong , but this is wat one of my muslim friend told me once.
nice post babez... hugzzz

....... st000nie.......

tulipspeaks said...

st000nie, thanks for dropping by..

your point might be correct logically..but it not what is happening now, even in Malaysia..

for example, here we have, Datuks (something like Sir) marrying celebrities..royalties marrying personalities etc..

how do we put it, then? obviously these celeb/personalities are not women in need..

=am000nie=

Me said...

thanx am000nie for dropping by......

tulipspeaks said...

you are welcome av000nie..

by the way, you got a cute kitten as your display pic :)

=am000nie=

@mit said...

Polygamy --- monogamy is a big thing ...who has time to think about more than that...seriously...

nice Blog... came here via Avik's blog.. The name caught my eye.. I thought Oh My God... Did my wife start blogging or what? --- Her name is Amruta as well

tulipspeaks said...

hi @mit,

thanks for dropping by..
and special thanks to avik, who lead u to my blog :P

hehehe..of course, i am not your wife..you can count me on that..

=am000nie=