Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Is English Stupid?

After reading Keshi's latest posts on abortion, terrorism & cancer, i hope this post will bring some shine to the somber mood :P

English is a stupid language
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple

and while no one knows what is in a hot dog
You can be pretty sure it isn't canine
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France

We sometimes take English for granted

but if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square

and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
no is it a pig
Sweetmeats are candies,
while sweetbreads
which aren't sweet, are meat
If writers write, how come fingers don't fling?

If the plural of tooth is teeth
One goose, two geese
So one moose, two meese?

Is cheese the plural of choose?

One mouse, two mice; one louse, two lice,

One house, two hice?

Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,
why didn't the preacher praught,

Or the grocer groce, or hammers ham?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

What the heck does a humanitarian eats?

Why do people recite at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship...?
Have feet that smell and noses that run?
How can the weather be as hot as hell one one day
and as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
of a language
where a house can burn up as

It burns down
and in which you fill in a form by filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

English was invented by people, not computers
and it reflects the creativity of the human race

which of course isn't a race at all

That is why you get in and out of a car

and on and off a bus

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts
But when I wind up this poem

it ends

So, isn't English a stupid language?


Me said...

WOW !!!....its really lol.....
thanks amutha (am000nie) for such a beautiful post.........
take care....

tulipspeaks said...

thats is a superfast response av000nie!

thank you for being the first :)


Me said...

- If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
- If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?

tulipspeaks said...

thanks again for adding on!!


Arz000n said...

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

I dont know whether English is stupid language or not....but I hate making project reports in English...thats for sure.


tulipspeaks said...

i am beginning to enjoy this..hahaha..


Arz000n said...

your KAKAKA has changed to HAHAHA

Is it coz English is stupid??

tulipspeaks said...

lolz n000nie!!


:) said...

hehehe .. nice post am000nie..


4u2nvau/Rohit said...

n000nie?? I haven't commented yet.

that was a noice post amu :)

tulipspeaks said...

oppss...i think i am obessed with n000nie :P

it was supposed to be z000nie..


Keshi said...

lol z000nie morality n morons hahaha!


Keshi said...

LOL avik good ones!

Keshi said...

LOL thanks am000nie for bringing us laughs especially after my heavily mournful posts! Laughter is the best medicine...hehehe...

English I believe is a funny langauge :)
If I master it I still remain a Miss, and if I don't make it, I have made a fool :)

My own clarifications of Enlgish lol!


4u2nvau/Rohit said...

khi khiiiiiii *blushes*

Arz000n said...

z00000nie has become n0000nie??
Bad English...hehehe

or was that a typo??
Bad English keyboard.....

tulipspeaks said...


am000nie *blushing* too

z000nie, it wasn't actually a typo..the name n000nie just somehow 'appeared' there..i didn't even realise it until n000nie pointed it out!


Arz000n said...

Whats happening here?

n000nie and am000nie blushing with a gap on one comment in between


tulipspeaks said...


lolz z000nie..

(hope i got it right this time..it's z000nie!!)


Thë Icè Þr¡ñce§§ said...

wow. amu.
really nice.. if u wrote all dat on ur own. i wud pat ya on ya back. and crown u the Funny poem Queen. hee hee..
great work there. it really must have brought smiles on everyone's faces.
ur really cute amu.

peace out


tulipspeaks said...

nah..i am not an expert to write all that on my own..

i read it in a magazine last week..still manage to recall 80% of what i read and post it..

thank you anyway..i wish the real author of the poem would see how well-received his/her poem :)

and you know what icy..you are cute too :)


Keshi said...

awwwn am000nie didnt see my comment yet :(

silly me lol!


4u2nvau/Rohit said...

yeh k000kie coz am000niez too busy lookin at moi :P

tulipspeaks said...

k00kie..sorry dear..i guess i was too occupied with confusion between n000nie-z000nie..plus, n000nie really took all my attention away today :P

of course i saw your comment..but didn't put anything in my writing about it..how can i miss your comment, anyway?


4u2nvau/Rohit said...

Amu I don't think your shoutbox likes me :( it won't lemme send you any mssges

tulipspeaks said...

n000nie it is impossible for my shotbox to dislike u..i do find 2 of your messages there..i mean icons :P


Dewdrop said...

first time on your blog and Im smiling, thanks :)
Some more add ons to your collection..

There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger

--there is no butter in buttermilk,
no grape in grape fruit,

If writers write, how come fingers don't fling?
--If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
--If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

and did you know there is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters in this word -therein: the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, here, ere, therein, herein
Underground is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und
-isnt this amaziing?

brooklyn babe said...


Keshi said...

wow interesting Dewdy!

hehe am000nie me was juss kidding :) hugggggggz!

reminded me of my lil niece...she once told me 'I cutted my finger'...lol!


tulipspeaks said...

dewdrop..thanks for adding on..

i am happy that i made you to smile and hopefully your visit will not be the last one here!


tulipspeaks said...

thanks for dropping by, sudani

PuNeEt said...

My first visit over here...
Nice Blog
Another very colourful blog...

Nice Post too,
yep it is funny


tulipspeaks said...

hi puneet....thanks for the comments :)

strawy said...

nice post am000nie , but i m enjoying the comments more ... hehehehe.. hugzzzz

....... st000nie .......

tulipspeaks said...

me too st000nie!!

Vivhyd said...

Its English.. its supposed to be silly.. like the English themselves.. meaning Brits.. :).. well no hard feelings..

tulipspeaks said...


My Poll Revealed that 79% of the visitors to the blog thinks that English is a stupid language? gee..then, why on earth are we conversing in English?


Jim said...

Not only is their lang silly!
the Britishers are real samples

Saby gott a special blogg for MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN

for Saby go here www.imnutsincaps.blogspot.com and go to HIS PROFILE to find the MAD DOGS and their mating habits