Friday, October 07, 2005

==MeN==

Usually I will try to alternate a serious (or an emotional)
issue with a fun one..

I was trying hard to think on one..unfortunately my brain
stopped working for this
past few days..
thankfully i got some forward mails which cheered me up..


My gals..this one is dedicated to you all..HAVE FUN!!!
and guys..take it easy..okie?

***

WHAT IF MEN GETS PREGNANT??

1. Morning sickness would rank as the nations number one
health problem.

what is number one health problem of the nation currently??
ah..its CVD (ahem..which
is higher among men, isn't it?


2. Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay.
2 years!!! lazy pigs..what you guys wanna do for 2 years??
plan for second pregnancy?



3. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet
trained.

lolz..as if they are trained well *sigghhhh


4. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
hmm..men..do they know what is pain??


5. All methods of birth control would become 100% effective.
*am000nie laughs at this one..hehhehehehe..


6. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
ah..now you guys know what is COMMITMENT..


7. There would be a cure for stretch marks.
*me praying for this one to happen,..
lets say in 5 years time??



8. They would serve beer instead of coffee at antenatal
classes.

rofl..they will never learn..


9. Men wouldn't think twins were so cute.
double the effort, double the pain, double the mess,
double the headache..er..
synonym for twins

10. Sons would have to come home from dates by 9 pm
the battle begins!!!!

***

Men are like Laxatives ....
They irritate the shit out of you.


Men are like Bananas ....
The older they get, the less firm they are.


Men are like Weather ..
Nothing can be done to change them..


Men are like Blenders ..
You need One, but you're not quite sure why.


Men are like Chocolate Bars ..
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right
for your hips.

Men are like Commercials ....
You can't believe a word they say.


Men are like Department Store ..
Their clothes are always 1/2 off.


Men are like Government Bonds ..
They take soooooooo long to mature.


Men are like Mascara ....
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.


Men are like Popcorn ...
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.


Men are like Snowstorms ..
You never know when they're coming, how many inches

you'll get or how long it will last.

Men are like Lava Lamps ...
Fun to look at, but not very bright.


Men are like Parking Spots ...
All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped.

________________________________________________

am000nie getting ready with safety helmet on!!!


38 comments:

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

me first woooooooo hoooooooooo

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

jeez that was a bit harsh. I got only one thing to say...

Women are like drills....
give you a headache everytime

Keshi said...

LOLLLLLLZ good one Amu! hahahaha Im laughing so much :)


**Men are like Commercials .... You can't believe a word they say.

**Men are like Government Bonds ..
They take soooooooo long to mature.


My 2 favss! And I can see a lot of examples in the real world as well as the virtual world...


Keshi.

tulipspeaks said...

n000nie..u r the first...muuaxx and huggss..

*am000nie with safety helmet..

hmm..we look like drills?? of is it daffodils?? *wink wink at n000nie..

=am000nie=

tulipspeaks said...

k000kie..phheww..at last some one is laughing..no more talking abt killing yourself coz of memory loss okie??

Men are like Mascara ....
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like Lava Lamps ...
Fun to look at, but not very bright.


These are my fav 2:)

=am000nie=

Michelle said...

Men are like Mascara .... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
lolz...tht not only applies for men,but for me as well!!!

ha ha ha damn funny!!!

hugzzzz

Keshi said...

~~throws yello Tulips at Amu...:)

yep I like those 2 lines too...actually all of em lol!


hahaha Mich me too...mascara makes me not cry too lol!


Keshi.

Arz000n said...

WHAT IF MEN GETS PREGNANT??
Noooooooooooooooooooo
Pls dont

Atleast no till Im on this planet :)

Men are like Parking Spots ...
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.


ROTFL :)))))

Tht was awesome Am000nie!!

southpaw said...

Hmmmm....put on the helmet,a bullet proof jacket and the joint caps, i'll be back soon...lols

tulipspeaks said...

@ michelle & k000kie

lolz..i don't wear mascara..well, actually i don't know how to wear one *blushes at michelle & k000kie



@ z000nie

ah..guess i need to wish for z000nie to get pregnant to santa during christmas this year :P



@ south

hmm..me waiting with all the protective gadgets!!


=am000nie=

Keshi said...

Amu u dun wear mascara? awww...u should cos u have nice eyes...


I wanna see z000nie boy preggi...wut say Amu? lol!


Keshi.

4u2nvau/Rohit said...

Amu you don't know how to wear mascara?? :O

Even I know how to wear mascara jeeeeeeeez

Anbu said...

Hmm... When men make fun of women they r called MCP... can men call women making fun of man, FCP???


Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay.

This is coz we realy care for our child...we would like to ensure they have a good first yr with their parents...

Men are like Bananas ....
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Dont older women get less firm too???

Men are like Chocolate Bars ..
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

Not all men head to hips directly.... Some like me find other parts attractive too...

visithra said...

ehhehe i have read this before but still hillarious

how are u ;)

Zombie said...

lol@Men are like Laxatives .... They irritate the shit out of you.

good one there.

hv been following ur blogfor quite some time now - first time commenting though - keep up the goods.

tulipspeaks said...

k000kie

nah..i don't wear mascara..i don't think i'll be comfortable wearing one..

lolz..yea..i do wanna see z000nie preggi..see..i'm going to send a mail to santa asking for z000nie's baby for this christmas..you want baby boy or a gal?? hehehehe

=am000nie=

tulipspeaks said...

anbu,

When men make fun of women they r called MCP... can men call women making fun of man, FCP???
err..what is MCP and FCP??

This is coz we realy care for our child...we would like to ensure they have a good first yr with their parents...
lolz..what an excuse!!!


Dont older women get less firm too???
no comment on this one :P


Some like me find other parts attractive too...
*wink wink at anbu..which parts? opppsss..hopefully the answer won't be censored!!

=am000nie=

tulipspeaks said...

@ visithra

i'm glad you enjoyed it..gee..i think i missed a lot of your post..you always publish new posts at lightening speed, isn't it? let me go through your blog after this..


@ zombie

hi..welcome..i'm glad you've been following my blog..let me visit yours from now on..

=am000nie=

PuNeEt said...

That's too harsh dear...

Pinki said...

Nice stuff!!

Some of the fwd maisl are really nice. They make me smile wen I am feeling low. They motivate me, when I am feeling depressed. They inspire me when I am feeling frustrated and manyatuimes they make me smile.

And above all, they r a good timepass wen u dont have anything to do :-)

Pinki said...

Nice stuff!!

Some of the fwd maisl are really nice. They make me smile wen I am feeling low. They motivate me, when I am feeling depressed. They inspire me when I am feeling frustrated and manyatuimes they make me smile.

And above all, they r a good timepass wen u dont have anything to do :-)

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

LOL .... loved it !!

These men will never get to know wht pain is! lol

haha 2 yrs maternity leave....gosh....sounds funny......

yeah yeah true about commitment!

Hehe...nice post......made me laugh!!

Muuuahh

Cheerzz!

southpaw said...

Alright, i agree to a few stuffs about the men u have mentioned and while reading it i just came across a nice little story on women as well it goes like this:
WHAT DOES WOMEN WANT????????

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch -- only she would know the answer. The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: the old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises...etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total freedom. What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable. The honeymoon hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! The astounded Gawain asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night? What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice. Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?
The moral is: If a woman doesn't get her own way, things are going to get ugly.

Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!did i say little story initially...lols

tulipspeaks said...

@ puneet

ahem..puneet..sorry for being harsh..but don't you agree at least on one of it??


@ pinki

they r a good timepass wen u dont have anything to do :-)
lolz..i was wondering why you were praising them..this last words made the point!!!


@ cheesy

a huggggggggeeee hugs for cheesy..glad i made someone smile and laugh..phewww..mission accomplished! :P


@ south

thanks for agreeing *wink wink..and the story..i think you've posted it before here..but its nice to read another time..

muuaxx and hugsss to all

=am000nie=

southpaw said...

I know...was just trying to refresh ur memory...lols

tulipspeaks said...

lolz..well south..i am NOT suffering from short term memory loss..hehehehehe


=am000nie=

Dewdrop said...

Great someone finally bashed men, nice ones

Slice Of Life said...

enjoyed how right
uma

Keshi said...

TC dahhhlin! muahhhhh!

Keshi.

:) said...

Men are like Commercials ....
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like Parking Spots ...
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

hehehehe
very funny am00

huggzzz

:)

Arz000n said...

Why you ladies are behind me to see me pregnant

:( :(


z000nie boi is off for paternity leave

Organized Noise said...

Thanks for the much needed laugh. What makes it even funnier is that its probably true. Luckily we will never have to find out.

tulipspeaks said...

@ dewdy

that wasn't done on purpose..though i enjoy bashing them up..a lot in deed :P



@ uma

glad you enjoyed it..i love puting up smile on a gal's face..cheerss!!!



@ k000kie

valimel vizhi vaithu unngakage kaathirupen..poi vaa.. :)



@ pari

:) huggsss to you!!!



@ z000nie

paternity leave?? you mean..you are...ahem ahem!!!



@ organized noise

Luckily we will never have to find out.
hmm..unless you have better idea *wink wink



muuaxxx and hugsss to all


=am000nie=

Divya said...

WHAT IF MEN GETS PREGNANT??

lolzzzzzzzz this was enuff
to make me laugh...!!

wow thts rhyminggg ;)

Keshi said...

**valimel vizhi vaithu unngakage kaathirupen..poi vaa

this is so touching Amu I had tears in my eyes...and I showed it to my Ma too...she was touched too...

~~nenjam marappathillai...athu ninaivu illaipathillai...


k000kie :(

tulipspeaks said...

divya...dinchaaakkkk!!!

lolz..well, what if we substitute the word 'men' with z000nie? *wink wink


=am000nie=

tulipspeaks said...

aww...look who is here..its my k000kie..muuaxx dear..hows your holiday plans all going on??

:) it just occured to me dear..nothing fancy

lotsssssss of muuaxxx and hugssss


=am000nie=

Invincible said...

mez here aft long time
n this is another woman only post.

lemme not debate over the postulates. Men r certainly better than wot it depicts.
:)