Deepavali is the time I get so confused. I don't know if it's time for celebration or mourning. Over the years, my Deepavali has taken various forms - shape shifting from a joyous festival to heart-thumping day to dreaded day to family day. There were no cards or  gifts sent or received. Just a simple sms I wrote to some. I don't know how I will celebrate next year's Festival of Light. I don't know where I am going to be. Maybe.. that what made me to do what I did, doing and will do tomorrow.

I promised my friends that I will document whatever I am doing for this year's Deepavali. For the first time ever, I took almost 400 photographs from the Eve till the second day. It was fun and tedious at the same time. It is impossible to post every photo here and I don't really wish to see my blog to turn into a photoblog. I will share selected photos next week.

Tomorrow I am holding an open house [Malaysian concept whereby people celebrating various holidays will invite friends to drop by for festive foods etc]. Thinking of it, this is the first time in 12 years I am holding an open house and first time in 4 years I am going to have visitor(s) for Deepavali. It's amazing how fast time flies. It seems like it happened just yesterday..  the laughter, the chat, the drama.

Anyway, advance thank you for those attending tomorrow's event. Guys, I got a little surprise for everyone. And to my blogmates from overseas, I'm so sorry that I am unable to find a way for you guys to attend it. But I have a song for this week's Nostalgic Friday to be shared with everyone...


Happy weekend people!

Thank you so much for the wishes guys! As usual, I had a blast! :-)

Unfortunately (or is it fortunately?) I took too many photos.. I think I will faint before I can finish editing them all. Anyway, here are some photos taken on the first day of Deepavali:

It was MIB's first ever photoshoot at the world-famous Batu Caves, but I was a little skeptical at first. I do not own a DSLR, and I am not a pro at taking photos. Truth is I suck most of the time when it comes to photography *shy. I least expected for it to be this F.U.N!!!!!  Supposedly we have 11 confirmed guests sayings YES to the event but 7 turned up. A bit disappointing there but we were at ease with each other, though some never met others before. Yet, at the end of that 6 hours, I felt like we have known each other for a long time.

I was a bit [60mins] late *looks around for Rames.. hehehe.. guess by the time we [Mala & me] reach there, Rames has gone hungry..so next thing we did was to hunt for food and it was not so difficult - there were couple of restaurants within the vicinity. Had a quick breakfast and long chat with Poobalan [who was there earlier than me :P]. Selian joined us few minutes after, followed up Raaja and Sundra.

Some photos..

The rest of the photos in my Flickr.

Long time never had so much fun!!! Can't wait for the next activity!

We pretend like we have moved on.
We pretend not to see eye to eye.
We pretend to hate each other.
We pretend to have fallen in love too...

It's complicated.
Life is complicated.
You are complicated.
I am too..

*sigh*

Time to layan this week's nostalgic song...

Happy weekends and see you guys tommorrow.

This feels so good!!! My write up on Deepavali celebration has been featured in Live & Inspire, an online magazine focused on personal growth and  lifestyle.

I'm overwhelmed right now. Can't say much. Please head to my article, Light It Up! and drop a comment there.

Thank you so much Tim! :-)

This is an old song and I rarely like any old songs..but this one is nice!! I really really like it. Anyone has it in any format? Mind sharing it with me? Please e-mail me (im@tulipspeaks) if you have it okie?

Hugs hugs!

In a lame attempt to kill time, I tried 'playing' with this applet. It is suppose to transform your webpage into a graph (chart). I don't know the purpose of it but guess this applet been around for quite sometime now.

I also tried creating funny looking graphs for other popular pages - google.com, kennysia.com, malaysia today etc. I like watching how the graphs transform, kinda cool.

If you have some time to waste, check out Webpages as graphs :-P

After my post on the Customized Photo Frame, I realize that many are doing something personalized (cards or gifts or whatever) for their boyfriend/girlfriend. Interesting.. and talking about that, no I never did anything handmade for someone special. I thought of it, attempted but I never completed it because something happened and I felt my hardwork will not be appreciated at the end of the day. Anyway, that's another story for another day.

We are so proudly talking about how we did this and that for our loved ones, but I would like to hear what your guy or girl has done for you. Nah.. don't give me he/she loves me genuinely... and care for me.. and always be there for me kinda answers. Let's go a little materialistic today? Okie? What is the sweetest gift you got from him/her? Him or her in this context can be your current or ex. The chronology is not important, only the gesture is.

Let's start this with my side of story. The sweetest thing I ever got as gift from him was 3 cocoa fruits. Yes, you read it right - COCOA FRUITS. I don't think many of you have seen cocoa fruit before. Here how it looks like:

The interior looks and tastes like mangoosteen fruit. It's supernice but you can't get it in any shops or markets. That what makes this a sweet gift. It takes lot of effort to find it right now as most of the plantations in Klang Valley has been replaced by housing estates. Then how he got them for me? He stole them! But not before he searched for it in the entire town for me. I think he got it from a neighbouring town. Er.. I mean he stole it from a plantation in a neighbouring town. It was my graduation present. Weird? For me, it was sweet. Anyway, it was like 5 years ago and I haven't seen one since then *hint hint!

Okie, before I forget.. this is a Nostalgic Friday post and no Friday post is complete without a video. Here is the video for this week:


I think this is the best video for the post.

And I think I'm in love *shy shy

Seriously, tell me.. isn't that what you think? You think I will just swallow everything you say without processing it in my brain? After this long, you still think you can fool me around?

See.. one can fool for a day, or maybe a week, or maybe a year or so.. can he fools everyone for a lifetime? Nah.. eventually everyone gonna know you for what you are - starting from me.

I don't have go around asking people about you. I don't have the luxury of time to do that. I don't have to hire a PI to do it. I don't have that much of money. And looks like I don't have to bribe anyone with chocolates.. the facts just fell on my lap.

What facts you may ask while chuckling looking at the screen. But you know what? Even a tiny piece of news of your act behind my back is indeed a news. You think you know about me. Heck! I think you don't know your own self, your own thoughts, your own attitude.

Yes, you don't know you are committing sins. Even if you do, you don't know someone is watching over you. Not me, someone who is way too powerful. You think you are okie by not killing, but indeed you are killing someone else's soul. It's way way way too sinful. It won't be washed away even with your own blood.

You let me to pick up fragments of my life. And you think I'm perfectly fine with it? Oh maybe you thought it won't drag this long, and this nerd will just leave when you say so?

I have fought for myself like no one else would. I'm proud that I explained myself as much as a woman can. I know you didn't even listen to the words, but you know what? I don't care. Why should I care when you can't do the same? You can never ever give me back what I gave you. You will be indebted to me for life. That is enough for me.

You can buy sex. But you can never buy intimacy.

Today, I learnt another fact about you.
What's in for me tomorrow?

Comments are off

I'm not a person gifted with craft skills [Yes, I believe it is a gift]. Nevertheless in my attempt to present a different kinda farewell gift to my colleague, Dims, I  customized a plain wooden frame to a stunning bling bling one! Okay, I'm exaggerating it. It's not exactly stunning but I think giving someone a customized/ handmade gift which will not be available anywhere is something sweet.

I thought of documenting the whole process, just in case someone wanna make something similar. Here we go:

1. Things you will need - Plain wooden photo frame, golden ribbon, flat backs (bling bling), pin & UHU glue
2. Take off the glass from the frame. We don't want it to get stained, do we? ;-)
3. Start gluing the outer of the frame with the golden ribbon
4.Outer of the frame completed




5. Glue the ribbon to the inside frame.
6. Start sticking the bigger flat backs.
7. Don't overdue the big golden colored flat backs. Few pieces like this one will be sufficient.
8. I have added 2 more sizes here.


8. On the top of the frame, you can arrange the smaller 'diamonds' to form a person's name or anything you wish. [Just realize got two #8..sorry :-P]
9. Her name - completed.
10. Fill up the gaps with the smaller 'diamonds'
11. Her name in another angle.



12. The final completed photo frame.


Have you done any handmade gift(s) before? Mind sharing with me?

Sometimes I wish I could shop alone without being judged
Sometimes I wish I could take a long walk in the park without being judged
Sometimes I wish I could play in the rain without being judged
Sometimes I wish I could just live without being judged

Sometimes I wish to speak my mind without being judged
Sometimes I wish to be treated a woman without being judged
Sometimes I wish to trust the person next to me without being judged
Sometimes I wish to bare my soul with someone without being judged


Sometimes I wish I'm cared for without being judged
Sometimes I wish I'm hugged without being judged
Sometimes I wish I'm accepted without being judged
Sometimes I wish I'm loved without being judged

As expected, I didn't go anywhere for vacation. But I feel this is one of the best holidays I have ever had in recent times. I had the entire 5 days all for myself! Being able to spend every single minute for you is the most satisfying thing - believe it!


I spent most of the time sleeping
Some may think - what the heck! everyone sleeps! you sleep every night too..so what now??? While it is true that I sleep every night, I never really get this 'fulfilling' and "satisfying" sleep. I don't really know how to elaborate it further, but it is something like waking up knowing that you have given your body and mind the rest they deserve and deprived of. Five nights of good sleep :-)


It was time for some feel-good movies
I only watch movies in theaters and it's rather rare for me to watch anything on the DVDs. Basically that's because I find it difficult to sit at one place and focus on the movie, while I can do lot of other things at the same time. That is the 'side-effect' of multitasking for so many years. Unfortunately it has been sometime since I watch a good English movie in theater..if not mistaken its almost 3 months now, and I have missed so many good movies *sigh. I will look too desperate and lonely if I go to theater alone and that's what held me back from booking a ticket right away. So, I got myself some DVDs of movies I always wanted to watch and watch them right here at the comfort of my home with a company of hot chocolate drinks. It's a good feeling...
[I'm looking for the entire series of Star Wars, anyone willing to loan it to me? Promise will take good care of them *innocent look]



I listened to my body
After 28 years of neglects, my body finally fighting back and shouting at me for abusing it. Actually it has started to complain couple of years back, but I only get to listen to all the rantings now. Good that I did. Now I know what to do.




I calmed myself down
For the first time in many years, I gave my body the rest it deserved and automatically I feel myself way calmer. Plus, I didn't subject my soul to irresponsible people who simply abuse it. And I plan to take this further. Maybe will enrol in yoga classes for beginners soon. Keeping fingers crossed!

Unfortunately there are things I didn't get to do as well:
1. Couldn't blog hop
2. Couldn't venture out to Putrajaya with sis - it was planned but we can't make it
3. Didn't get to clean up my laptop - it is filled with tones of junk now

Tsk! tsk! :-P